As I was candidating myself as Milan mayor :), of course not everything is positive in the city, in this list you can also see some problems.

You know you're from Milan when...

- everyday you blame the traffic in the city
- everyday you take the car (NOT ME)
- you know you have to add 10 minutes to the times written on the bus stops
- you know it’s easier to tame (=domare, in Italian) a tiger than conquering a posh girl from Milan ahahaha (complicated girls)

- you want to beat somebody if they point a camera at you... mwahahahaha paparazzi!!! (because in Milan we feel to be vips :)

- for every ten words you say, "minchia" and "feega" (figa) (bad words referring to female sex :) come out minimum three times (you know, bad words are the first things you learn in a foreign language)
- if things are not precise, you get nervous
- you know that using the bike means risking your life
- actually you are proud of being from Milan (I AM :)
- when you meet someone else from Milan, your first question is: “but from Milan-Milan?” (because many say they're from Milan even though they live in the suburbs)
- you hate pigeons and people who feed them
- you know exactly how not to be stopped by people who try to sell you bracelets or politics newspapers
- if you have to pay the rent of the apartment, probably you’re not the happiest person in the world
- "Ausiliari del Traffico" are your worst enemies (a sort of policemen, but ordinary people usually with faces of idiots, doing that job, giving fines to cars)
- if you ride a bike or a scooter in Corso di Porta Romana your hands are gonna shake for 10 minutes more because of the pavè antique floor
- at least once you have been woken up by L'Arrotino (old job by a man) or by useless communist demonstrations / a pacifist march against war
- you wonder why they don't put some more lights in the Red and Green lines of the Metro
- you wonder why the announcement for the strikes of ATM (public transports, metro lines) seems to come from the moon
- you would prefer to meet Hannibal the Cannibal than going around Central Station in the night
- you would prefer to be poisoned than taking a swim in the Navigli channels
- if you are a man, during the Fashion Weeks you are either very happy or very sad because of all the models in the city
- you don’t understand why at the front office of “international tickets” of the Central Station there’re only Italian speakers
- if you take 90-91 or 95 in the night you're gonna be the only white person on the bus
- you hate all the tourists that make you wait in queue to have a panzerotto to eat at Luini's
- you still don't understand why people come from other regions just to study at IULM (I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I STUDIED AT IULM :) ...IT'S BECAUSE OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS !!! AHAHAHAHA)
- no matter of blue, yellow lines and sidewalks: in the night you park your car where you find a place (if you find one) (and anyway also if you wanna pay, you don’t know where to buy a ticket)
- when in the night the traffic-lights start to be intermittent, the “law of the jungle” becomes reality
- if in the night you see a little light spot in the sky, you feel to see the stars
- you don’t buy anything to drink in “Todos a Cuba”. You just use it as a bathroom
- if you are the first car on a red traffic-light you should move with a reaction-time of 0.001sec if you don’t want the other cars to horn to you
- typical fog and sometimes rain remind you of England and Oasis :)
- Milan flag reminds you of England :)
- you love and hate it, but anyway “Milan l’è semper un grand Milan” (="Milan is always a great Milan", in Milan dialect)
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