miamilan blog

^_^ from a girl: [my comments between brackets]
"I don’t know if all three of us just had a bad experience or if it’s the norm but without a doubt Milan is my least favourite place in Italy. [GOOD START, LOL!...I ALWAYS HEAR THE OPPOSITE] It’s main appeal [DO YOU MEAN: ITS] is the designer shops and Gothic cathedral but it really has not much else going for it [AHAHAHAHA THESE TOURISTS NEED TO GET ME AS A GUIDE :]. Maybe we would have had a different experience if we were insanely rich however I still doubt it as I need more than a good shopping spree to stay satisfied. As a female I have never been more creeped out. The men look you up and down and constantly make sexual remarks [AHAHAHAHAHA ANOTHER SHOCKED ONE... WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE DO THEY FIND? SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S JEALOUS 'CAUSE SHE'S NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR MILAN...]. Our hotel situation was quite hilarious. All the reviews we had read were about how the owners of the hotel were definitely Mafia or drug dealers [OMG! AND YOU GO THERE?!?! YOU MUST BE QUITE STUPID...]. It was cheap and decent though, so we took that risk [YOU TAKE A RISK ALSO THROWING YOURSELF OUT OF A WINDOW... AND I'M EVEN TELLING YOU... LIKE: MANY PEOPLE TELLING HER "DON'T THROW YOURSELF OUT OF A WINDOW" AND THEN MOAN ABOUT WINDOWS...]. The men that ran the hotel definitely were of the dodgy sort and obviously had to run the business as something on the side so as not to look suspicious. When we looked over our balcony we could see them with quite a lot of bags of some mysterious white substance [FLOUR TO MAKE PIZZA! AHAHAHA OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T SHOW IT...] but we were sure that if we stayed out of their way, they would stay out of ours. Discussing laundry with them was quite an experience. The roughest, biggest looking tough Italian men asking how you wanted your laundry done with the most serious look on their face. Priceless.
The first night we arrived we went to the main shopping area to look at all the designer shops at night. Most of which had massive screens and run way shows playing all night. We were surrounded by the filthy rich [I CAN FEEL A POINTLESS HATE TOWARDS THE RICH? I MEAN THE USUAL PREJUDICES ABOUT EVERYTHING?]. So many beautiful women with disgusting older men [AHAHAHA RIGHT, I ALWAYS MOAN ABOUT IT AHAHAHA]. What more would you expect?
During the day we got the bus to the Gothic Cathedral and looked around for all the sites. Being in Milan we obviously wanted to sea [DO YOU MEAN: SEE] the original Leonardo Da vinci painting of The Last Super [DO YOU MEAN: SUPPER], to which we were told the waiting list was a few weeks long [MONTHS! MOST FAMOUS PAINTING IN THE WORLD]. So that was an epic fail [BLAME YOURSELF, YOU SHOULD INFORM YOURSELF BEFORE TRAVELLING... OH I FORGOT YOU WANT TO "TAKE RISKS"...]. Instead we went to the fort which was incredibly boring [FIRST TIME I HEAR THIS, YOU MUST BE ORIGINAL...]. The extremely hot weather of Italy during the summer does not make matters any better [OH THAT'S POSITIVE! AHAHA] so eventually we found a park to chill out in. There was a group of people sitting on a wall playing drums and others dancing around. They looked like complete and utter mad men but they were enjoying themselves so obviously didn’t care and it was highly entertaining for us. Highlight of my time there was finding a Garibaldi monument ad I had just been studying about him in History and he is one of my favourite historical figures [NAH, IF YOU WERE FROM MILAN, YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HIM, LOL].
The food is obviously great as Italian food cannot be beaten [OH THAT'S POSITIVE! AHAHA]. our first night we went to a restaurant in the centre of the city. A small place called Luigi’s [AAAAAAAHHH DOESN'T SOUND GOOD]. I wasn’t planning on eating as I wasn’t feeling too well but the owner of the restaurant happened to be there and he was highly intoxicated as it was his birthday. He joined us at our table although he was extremely limited in English [ALSO YOUR OWN LANGUAGE SPELLING, LOL] and ordered me a free meal. he then asked me to move to Sardinia with him and live in his Villa [Berlusconi in incognito, owner of a restaurant?! AHAHAHA RIGHT, I ALWAYS MOAN ABOUT IT AHAHAHA]. The waiters and workers continuously apologised but we found it absolutely hilarious [OH THAT'S POSITIVE! AHAHA]. Eventually we got a bit bored though so when he went to the loo we took the waiters advice and ran off. Our second restaurant outing resulted in an argument with an extremely angry Italian manager and over-cooked food. Not something one wishes to re-live.
(Milan knows how boring it is that on their postcards they have the words ‘Milano at Night’ and the card is completely black as there is simply nothing to do there.)"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALSO, SAME VERSION OF THAT POSTCARD ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, IT'S A JOKE.